In Defense of My Name

I've always tried to help the world for the better. I am no buffoon, and although my acts shall be controversial, and may seem malignant, I don't procure to dishearten those in the world. All this time, my orthodox methods convincing you mythical creatures that I am great has been fruitless, so I shall seek a final attempt at procuring an alliance among you and me. I shall provide to you all the moments where I have helped to make the world a better place.

My first story may seem disheartening at first, but when you take into consideration the circumstances that were present in that situation, you understand the full extent of my methods. For example, in the situation where I took the trader's horse, it may have looked like I was trying to cheat the trader out of his horse, but in reality, the trader wanted to cheat me out of my stuff. However, to make sure he doesn't cheat other innocent people out of their stuff, I inflicted a trick on him. This was not malignant, as he would not be able to scam other people to procure more items for a while.

I have also gifted the humans with the gift of fire. This gift helped humans eat and gave humans light for many centuries.

Take this all into your minds when in a bewildering talk of controversial nature upon my name.